El Tunco,
el salvador

Among other things,
travel is meant to teach, right?

I chose to spend time in El Tunco because of it’s proximity to a few other locations I was interested in. Im tempted to call this visit a misstep but I gained some valuable insight during my stay, so i’m guessing it served its true purpose.

I planned to arrive in El Tunco and explore surrounding popular attractions like Santa Ana, San Salvador and Ruta de Las Flores, by booking guided day trips. However, once I arrived, I realize this was not to be. Day trips were incredibly expensive and required a minimum of 2-3 people. I tried to join an existing group, but my attempt was unsuccessful. Great, I booked five nights in a surfers paradise and have no interest in surfing, so now what?

Before I can do anything, I’ll need cash and, as luck would have it, the closest ATM is broken. I get directions to a reliable ATM in nearby La Libertad from a hotel staffer which detail exactly how to get there using local transportation. The thought of taking a chicken bus makes me nervous. It’s outside my comfort zone and therefore something that causes a boost in that familiar mixture of fear and anxiety. Of course my response is to imagine the good-sized nightmarish experience to come. Standing on an old school bus stuffed with animals and sweaty people, because El Tunco is a sweltering furnace, heading to parts unknown because I somehow get on the wrong bus and my terrible Spanish fuels disaster… No need to continue, it always ends in prison or death. Nevertheless, needs must, so I head for the bus stop.

 

Obviously my first chicken bus ride was nothing like I’d imagined. In fact, it was quite pleasant and made me feel genuinely foolish for being scared in the first place.

Since the world didn’t end and I didn’t get lost, I feel a dose of courage and think maybe I can successfully take the one hour bus ride to San Salvador too. At least this way I’d get to visit a place on my list for a fraction of the guided day trip cost.

 

enlightening Strikes

In the end, I did take the bus to San Salvador for a look around and even hopped on another chicken bus for a waterfall hike with people from my hotel. Doing stuff with other people is way easier though, it’s when I’m alone that I tend to make decisions based on how much of that fear & anxiety cocktail bubbles up in my body. Believe it or not, I didn’t even recognize I was doing this until some time after my time in El Tunco. Once clarity dawned, I resolved to be more adventurous once I got to South America.

My first few days were spent roaming the woods of San Marcos with my new friend and fellow Sumpango kite festival attendee. Together we hiked to the Yoga Forest for an ashtanga yoga class and kirtan song ceremony. A spectacular view of the lake, volcanos and jungle with the sun setting behind them made a flawless backdrop for my yogi dream.

When my friend headed back to Philly, I spent the next few days roving the lake towns on my own. Grabbing a lancha to Panajachel for a day trip, investigating the short trails of the San Marcos nature reserve, up at 5am for an Indian Nose hike to watch the sunrise, followed by some worthy wandering of San Pedros streets to discover the charming Parque Puerta Hermosa.

Between Flores, Antigua and Lake Atitlán, I spent over five weeks in Guatemala. I felt especially comfortable in Antigua so thoughts of putting it behind me to get back on the road were joined by anxiety and fear. However, if I was to see to South America anytime soon, I would need move on. I can’t stay in Guatemala forever so I booked a shuttle for my next stop, El Tunco, El Salvador.

Antigua, Guatemala

I arrived in Antigua, Guatemala on October 9th with an intention to stay a while but with no real ideas about how long or what I wanted to do or see while there. I just knew that at some point, plans would need to be made for what came after Guatemala.

I spent my first day enjoying the cool temperature and getting some sleep after the long journey from Flores. On day two or three, I can’t remember, I discovered that November
1st was All Saints’ Day & Day of the Dead in Guatemala and I might not want to miss the traditional kite festival, so I decide I would stay and attend. This might also be when I decided that i’d visit Lake Atitlán after the kite festival.

Between my arrival date and November 1st, I spent a lot of time walking the cobble stone streets, taking pictures of church ruins, looking for cheap restaurants, searching for cafe’s with good WiFi, bakeries with chocolate croissants and generally doing a whole lot of nothing. October is rainy season in Antigua so I enjoyed lots of time staying warm and dry in my AirBNB enjoying books, drawing and watching Netflix.

Besides hunting for ruins, WiFi and pastries, there was that time my travel buddy and I hiked a volcano (see Fresh Wounds), another time I satisfied my creative appetite with an outstanding watercolor class and finally, there was the half day I spent at the kite festival in Sumpango, a highlight of my time in Antigua. I enjoyed my first picocita, Guatemala’s version of the michelada, I learned about the pre-columbian tradition of building and flying giant, vibrantly colored kites, I witnessed family members of the departed clean and decorate gravesites, I got a few impressive kite close ups and I got to spend the day with some really nice people, including a Philadelphia native that I would soon hike to a Yoga Forrest with.

With Mexico behind me i’d have to figure out how to navigate my way through Central America without the ADO bus. I decided the best place to make my future plans would be Antigua, Guatemala so I headed in that direction.

Approximately one hour and 45 minutes from the Belize/ Guatemala boarder is Tikal, the ruin of an ancient city and famous archaeological site in the Guatemalan rainforest. AKA, the perfect place to stop and visit when traveling the great distance from San Pedro, Belize to Antigua, Guatemala. I thought about spending a few days in San Ignacio, Belize since it’s close to the boarder and offers day trips to Tikal, but decided against it. At the time I felt I had already spent too much money in Belize and Guatemala would be much cheaper. Looking back, I wish I had made a different choice and feel that San Ignacio was a missed opportunity.

 

Flores, Guatemala

Tikal

Flores is a small town on Lake Petén Itzá that’s connected to the mainland suburb of Santa Elena by a short causeway. It’s a convenient spot for tourists wanting to visit Tikal National Park since it’s about an hour shuttle ride away. Revisiting my decision to stay away from hostels, I picked a place with a patio and an awesome view of the lake, perfect for sunset watching.

After visiting Tikal, my list of things to do in Flores was complete. I spent most of my time on the patio with my laptop. I managed to leave my patio perch once or twice to explore a bit. I walked around the island taking pictures, searched for sunglasses at the large market in Santa Elena and went for a boat ride across the lake to explore the town of Tayasal. My visit ended with a motorcycle ride to the bus station (glad my suitcase can convert to a backpack) where I boarded the night bus to Guatemala City, followed by a connecting shuttle to Antigua at 6am the next day.

 

Fun fact: I got ripped off Flores but not as bad as that time I paid a whopping 280 pesos for a 50 peso cab ride in Puerto Escondido, Mexico. I don’t remember what I paid for the bus ticket from Flores to Antigua however, I know the price was supposed to include a shuttle from the ticket office to the Flores bus station, a bus from Flores to Guatemala City and a shuttle from Guatemala City to Antigua. Except, there was no shuttle to the Flores bus station, the guy ended up taking me to the station on his motorcycle, and there was no shuttle to Antigua, I had to buy another ticket for the Antigua shuttle. I actually got lucky here, things could have been much worse if I wasn’t able to board the night bus. 

Moral of the story: sometimes being cheap costs more than you bargained for!

Next Stop

After Mexico, I knew my next country would be Belize. Always planning ahead, I discovered I could catch a water taxi in Chetumal that would get me to San Pedro, Belize in 90 minutes for $50. So, after Bacalar I headed South to Chetumal.

Chetumal, Mexico

I was warned a few times that Chetumal was boring, there was nothing to do or see and I wouldn’t miss out if I skipped it altogether. Awesome! That sounded perfect, so I booked a two week stay. I needed a place to rest and relax for a while. 

I wanted to live like a normal person. Spend the day in my pajamas, read in bed, draw, cook, watch Netflix & HBO, stay put and regroup. I found out later this need to stop moving is referred to as travel fatigue and it’s common.

So…, I know I said I was done with hostels but I found this well- priced spot that looked perfect, with great amenities that had two bunk beds and resembled a hostel. I took a chance on it because, according to Airbnb, all 4 beds were available and I was betting I’d have the room to myself for a bit. I Scored! My gamble totally paid off. For all but 4 days I had a big ass air conditioned room & private bath all to myself. Just when I started mentally preparing to get back on the road, my host messaged to let me know I’d be getting a roommate and that’s how I met my first traveling companion.

San Pedro, Belize


Saying good-bye to Chetumal was tougher then you might think. Having a routine and rest was magical, but now I was headed back to a world of constant moving and decision making, not to mention my first boarder crossing. Not gonna lie, I was full of fear and anxiety, frequent companions when I move towards the unknown.

It so happened that I could not have picked a better destination then San Pedro to get back into the swing of things. The water taxi turned out to be an enjoyable ride. A much better option than the bus and, I suspect, a better view. It was a comfort to be back in an English speaking country, most especially upon entry. Boarder crossings are nerve wracking enough without language barriers added to the mix. A shout out to my travel buddy for offering up some calm & relaxed energy. I guess when you jump out of planes for fun a boarder crossing is no cause for alarm. Sometimes it’s the little things that make the biggest difference. 


Similar to Bacalar, San Pedro is quite the charmer. I spent time enjoying the views from the hotel terrace and ocean front cafes. Wandering the narrow streets and shore walk, even with the all seaweed, was the perfect way to ease back into life on the road. 

After my first day I thought about extending my stay or maybe heading to Caye Calker for a look around but I sobered up after day two. San Pedro has great charm but it’s not nearly as budget friendly as Mexico. I love the food, the people, speaking English, the accents, the water sports and I could even tolerate the October heat, what was harder to ignore was my money fears and I couldn’t shake the feeling or belief that my money would go a lot further somewhere else.

Since I would only be in Belize for a few more days, I did my best to put aside money concerns and enjoy myself. Kinda tough when my travel buddy suggested we tour the Great Blue Hole, from a plane. Yikes!! I can still feel my purse strings tighten shut and that’s without the slightest idea of what it might cost. In the end I ignored my fears and did it anyway. With just a little convincing from my buddy, who was really looking forward to it and actually did research to find a competitive price, I jumped on a plane for 20 minutes of photography bliss.

It so happened that my travel buddy came equipped with an extra GoPro and some generosity, giving me an excellent opportunity to take underwater snaps of my day snorkeling. It’s true, the right people really do show up when you need them the most. I read stories about travelers meeting and traveling together along the way, but I doubted that would happen for me because making friends is not really my specialty. Turns out I was wrong. I now know the awesomeness of traveling with a fellow wanderer and enjoying experiences I wouldn’t have had as a solo artist. This is where I begin to understand the true value hostels. #SanPedroBelize

October 19, 2019
Antigua, Guatemala

Today marks the 4-month anniversary of my departure from the U.S. and the beginning of my travel adventures and transformational journey. Seems fitting to write about how I spent my day, especially since it’s still a fresh wound.

I’ve just come from doing the hardest thing I have ever done. Yesterday we left for the popular 2-day Volcano Acatenango hike. This hike takes you up the 3rd highest peak in Guatemala, an elevation increase of about 1.2 meters/3,900 feet, were you camp at almost 4,000 meters, approximately 13,000 feet, and spend an evening captivated by Volcano Fuego spitting ash & lava all night. Day 2 of this hike has you up and departing camp at 4:30 am for the final 400 meters/quarter mile to summit Acatenango and watch the sunrise over Fuego and the valley below.

 

I did not enjoy this hike. It was so fucking hard, I wanted to quit every step of the way. I did my best to relax, appreciate my surroundings and wipe the pained look off my face but I struggled so hard to move my feet and breath at the same time, it was difficult to remember that hiking is a passion of mine. Until yesterday I believed there was no such thing as a bad hike, now I’m not so sure. Perhaps this hike was meant to teach me something important that I will understand later, when every muscle between my waist and ankles are no longer sore.

I did not summit Acatenago. I was up and moving at 4:30 am with everyone else but I could’t finish. After 15 minutes of battling to breathe, I quit and walked back down to basecamp alone. I watched the sunrise over Fuego feeling like a failure. This hike made me feel inadequate in every way possible. I wasn’t fit enough, I couldn’t carry my own backpack, I couldn’t keep up with my group, I couldn’t even be the person that didn’t care that I was the slowest and to top it off, I was the only quitter, the only one missing from the photo at the top. Right now I do not feel any sense of accomplishment for doing the hike, I feel disappointed by a shitty performance.

 

I want to say that I would never have done the hike had I known what I was in for but those words are useless. I DID hike Acatenago and while i’m still consumed with feelings of not enoughness and inferiority for not reaching the summit, I also had the unbelievable experience of listening to the sounds of a volcano erupting, watching lava and plumes of ash shoot out the top of a mountain, seeing and abundance of stars in the night sky, watching the sunrise at 13,000 feet, doing the hardest hike of my life in perfect weather and enjoying phenomenal views. Maybe in a month or two I’ll be more appreciative about the the way my teacher taught me what I was meant to learn…

Clearing Clutter for Clarity

Today is October 5, 2019 and I’m sitting on the lakefront deck at a hotel in Flores, Guatemala. It’s been exactly 1 month since my flight from Havana landed at Cancun International Airport and I made my way to Tulum. I didn’t want to be in Tulum, I wanted to be home, in my bed surrounded by all my stuff but that wasn’t possible. My home and stuff were long gone, so I’d have to settle for a cheap hostel instead.

Landing

In Cuba, I barely lifted a finger. Everything was taken care of and it felt like a much needed vacation. Tulum meant an end to all comfort and the beginning of a long hard road ahead with no relief in sight. I was exhausted the minute my plane landed in Cancun.

day 1

I woke up, climbed down from the top bunk, showered and got food. After breakfast, while I sat in the lobby/common area, I felt them coming. After years of holding back my tears, believing they were useless and didn’t help or solve anything, they did what I trained them to do, they sat unmoving in my throat. Little by little, I coaxed them out with the truth of my situation. I was tired of moving from place to place. Tired of loneliness and decision making. Tired of stinking, sweating, ever shrinking personal space, mosquito bites & useless repellent, hostels, clogged showers and the fucking top bunk. I missed the simpIe comforts of home but I didn’t want to go back to the States. My Hostel was gross and I couldn’t bear to think of a future with more of the same. I let my tears know it was safe to come out, no matter how many people were around to whiteness and finally they came, one by one but not nearly enough.

Making Space

Turns out, tears DO help. They are not useless. They helped me let go of built up frustration, stress and travel fatigue, which felt good. Tired, worn out and not sleeping well, my desire to explore was gone. If my bed had been comfortable I might have stayed in it. Instead, my tears cleared space for an idea that felt perfect. Solutions to all my problems would be found after a good massage.

Exploring Cost

Tears came two or three more times before my massage, including crying myself to sleep and a near meltdown when I got lost looking for the massage spot. After Carlos worked his magic, things began to look and feel better. I enjoyed a full day exploring Tulum by bike and realized that cheap hostels were costing me too much. Energy is required to continue safely on this journey and I need to stay in places that recharge instead of drain me.

Fear of Spending

Here I am again, confronted with one of the most resilient skeletons in my closet. My limiting beliefs about and damaged relationship with money. I believe that money equals safety and the more money I spend, the less safe I am. Vibrating just beneath my surface at all times, my spending alarm BLASTED (see iPhone, old car horn) when I withdrew a large sum of cash for my Cuban Adventure. This action felt scary and unsafe but I knew it was just the beginning of something much bigger and my decision to stop using cheap accommodations was a confirmation there was work ahead.

Attainable Healing

I knew long before it began that this journey would change me and that thought excited me. Now, in the midst of changing, the excitement has dulled with the routine of daily practice. I’ve spent a great deal of time working on my beliefs about myself & money since Tulum and I think my effort it’s paying off, pun intended 😁. This post comes after 5-days of “no alarm” spending in Belize, considered the #2 most expensive country in Central America, with Costa Rica coming in at #1. My spending fears and money beliefs are tied other belief baggage I have about being unworthy and not enough, so there’s much more work to be done, but I’m feeling optimism, like healing is actually attainable. It’s not the first time I’ve tried fixing my relationship with money but this feeling is new, something I was missing both times I read Your Are A Badass At Making Money with my family. 

Resources for You

These books have made a MAJOR contribution to my life and feelings of optimism in the last two months. 

*The Illusion of Money: Why Chasing Money is Stopping You From Receiving It by Kyle Cease
• E-book, LA Public Library

Happy Money: The Japanese Art of Making Peace with Your Money by Ken Honda
• Audio Book, also available as an E-book from LA Public Library

Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of The Soul by Jane Roberts
• Audio Book, also available on YouTube

It’s Not Your Money: How to Live Fully From Divine Abundance by Tosha Silver
• E-book, LA Public Library

Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead by Tosha Silver
• E-book, LA Public Library

8 days in cuba

After deciding to travel the world, I focused on letting go of my old life, not really considering the journey ahead. I made one choice, start from where I already was. Begin in North America and travel through Central and South America before moving to another continent. I chose Mexico City as my starting point because it was closest big international city.

Researching Mexico tours, I stumbled on one that started in Mexico City and ended in Havana, Cuba. That’s when and how I decided I was going to Cuba.

I chose not to buy a tour through Mexico when I discovered a way to travel at my own pace. I wanted a tour for Cuba though. As an American, I wanted a local guide and I didn’t feel comfortable or confident traveling the island on my own, especially with poquito español.

Cuban Adventures

Finding a guided Cuba tour was easier than expected. I went to Facebook and searched Cuba Tours. 

My search results listed a company called Cuban Adventures

which offers an 8-day tour for $625, breakfast included, and a website that detailed everything you’d ever need to know about traveling to Cuba. I found other tours later but all cost well over $1,000 for 7 days or less.

I bought a non-stop, round trip flight from Cancun to Havana on Aeromexico for $155, purchased from BudgetAir.co.uk, and that price included 1 free checked bag.

Next thing you know, I was in Cuba.

The Itinerary

Day 1

Arrive in Havana

Day 2, 3

Viñales

Day 4

Bay of Pigs / Cienfuegos

Day 5, 6

Trinidad

Day 7

Santa Clara / Havana

Day 8

Depart Havana 12:30pm

viÑales


A small town surrounded by mountains and green fields, where I toured a tobacco and coffee farm and bought some hand rolled Cuban cigars. I explored the mountain surroundings from the hop-on-hop-off bus and danced with the locals during a back to school concert and street party.

Bay of Pigs


On our way to Cienfuegos we stopped at the Bay of Pigs and swam in the most crystal clear warm water you can imagine. My group mate, Jessica, shared her goggles so I got to enjoy a spectacular coral and fish underwater show.

Cienfuegos


Probably the most beautiful city we visited on the tour but also the shortest amount of time spent in a city. If I ever return to Cuba, I definitely want to spend a week or two exploring this gem. 

trinidad


For a small town, theres a lot to do and see in Trinidad. Took pictures from a museum roof top. Walked up a cobblestone hill in flip flops to dance in a cave nightclub. Went on an epic jungle hike to enjoy a gorgeous waterfall and went to the beach for a selfie. Was introduced to the awesomeness of Canchánchara – rum, lemon juice, honey & ice.

santa clara


On our way back to Havana we stopped in Santa Clara for a brief walk through the center of town and a visit the Che Guevara Mausoleum, home to Che’s remains and twenty-nine fellow rebels killed in 1967. 

In the 1958 Battle of Santa Clara, the last battle of the Cuban Revolution, Che and company took the city of Santa Clara. As a reminder, the Hotel Santa Clara Libre still looks to have the bullet holes.

havana


My final evening in Havana was spent enjoying a good-bye dinner with my tour mates, exploring the city at night and having a last beer on the awesome rooftop terrace.

My final day in Havana was a short one. After a little exploring, I was back on the rooftop taking selfies and pictures of the city skyline from four stories up. Trying hard not to think about returning to Mexico where lodging, breakfast, transportation, a daily itinerary and dinner were no longer someone else’s concern. 

My time in Cuba was amazing, even the heartbreaking parts. Without a doubt, I would like to explore again someday.

A Few Missed trips

I’ve visited some big cities with lots of stuff to photograph and write about but there have also been some short trips along the way that I haven’t mentioned yet. 

Chiapas Mexico

Leaving San Cristobal de las casas

I took the opportunity to use an organized day trip as both, my transportation to the city of Palenque and a way to visit Agua Azul, Misol-Ha and the Palenque Mayan ruins. The only downside to this adventure, leaving San Cristobal at 4am. 

This is a popular day trip from San Cristobal but for me, the early start and cramped bus would have made a tedious day had I made the round trip. 

Since I chose to spend a few days in Palenque, stopping to visit a few popular attractions was a great alternative to a 9 hour ADO bus ride. 

Misol ha

palenque 

ruins  

agua azul

The Yucatan

Appreciating Places Near Mérida

Before my Chichén Itzá day trip, I enjoyed a boat ride through a Mangrove Forest to swim in a cenote, a visit to Celestún to see flamingos and a stop  in Progreso for lunch and free time on the beach.

Not a bad trip if you’re with friends but I might get board if I did this one on my own. As it happened, I was glad to join a few other solo travelers for a full day of exploring.

mangrove

flamingos 

grasshopper 

progreso

 

A 5 Day Stay In Valladolid

Midway between Mérida and Cancun, Valladolid was 5 days of work, mosquito bites and leisurely exploration. I found plenty to see without a day trip, including an evening video mapping show projected on the former convent of San Bernardino of Siena and a cenote near the city center.

quintana roo

Waiting for a flight in cancun

I went to Cancun to use the international airport, not to explore. It’s a party destination for tourists, not a real hot spot for the solo traveler.

While waiting for my departure date, I noticed my hostel had a book with a dozen day trip options and I couldn’t resist picking one.

My choice, a trip to the tropical island of Cozumel for a day of snorkeling.

I never snorkeled before and thought a day spent learning how was an excellent way to have fun without sweating my life away in Cancuns unbearable heat. 

It’s probably no surprise that my  choice was on point. Crystal clear warm water, tropical fish, sea turtles, sting rays, star fish, a costal boat ride w/beer and snacks, lunch and free time included. 

Sorry, no snorkeling or underwater picts.